Life Changing Moment

Life Changing Moment

I remember waking up on a cold November morning, excited that it was my sixth birthday party. My birthday fell on a Wednesday this year, so we decided to have the party the Saturday before. I was so pumped for it because it was at Tumble Gym which was the hot spot for a six year old. Every kid in my class wanted to have their party there, and my selfless grandma made it happen. Everyone was going to be there. My friends from soccer, my friends from school, and of course all of my family. It was the perfect birthday dream for any five year old really. 

As my mom was loading up the car, she got a call on the house phone. Back then, my mom did not have a cell phone so we were lucky that we caught the phone call in time. 

She answered the call with her usual happy tone.

After the other person on the other line was talking for awhile, my mother’s usual happy face turned into a gloomy stare. She dropped the phone as the battery fell to pieces from the hardwood floors.

That is when she got the tragic news. My grandma suffered a heart attack. She passed away. 

This day turned out to be one of the worst days of my life. I did not understand what was going on. My mother was crying tears and scrunched down to the floor into a ball. She held me in her arms saying “I am so sorry baby”. 

What is she saying sorry for? It is not her fault this is going on.

I did not know how to comfort her. I mean I am only six old and I wasn’t sure how to comfort a grown adult. I was use to my mom being the one that always comforted me.

My mother told me the news and we cancelled my birthday party. As I sat in my living room, watching my favorite tv show (Rollie Pollie Ollie), my mom started making phone calls. My dad came home instead of meeting us at the party, like he was suppose to. 

I did not understand what was going. Why is my only grandma gone? What is death?

The funeral was on my actual birthday, November 8th. Everyone was there including all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins. I saw my grandma, sleeping peacefully in the coffin. 

Then I did something unexpected. My body triggered this emotion that I did not think could come out of me. 

I screamed, “Maybe if we all talk loud, Grandma will wake up and we can celebrate my birthday together like we are suppose to!” 

Everyone broke down into tears and sobbed. 

I did not mean to make everyone cry worse. I was trying to fix the problem so everyone could be happy. I just wanted everyone to be happy forever. 

Looking back on this moment, I did not understand what was going on through my head. Its crazy that as a child, you don’t really understand what death is. You think that they are only sleeping and that if we come together, the person will wake up. At least, that is what the toddler me thought. I thought that as a four year old, I could fix any problem in the world by just being happy.

If only life was just simple as happiness. 

Losing my grandma has changed my life forever. Its crazy to think how losing someone at such a young age, can change your entire life. Without knowing my grandma long, she taught me about what life truly is. Life is about taking chances and doing what makes you happy with the people you love because you never know when they will be gone. Its about coming together as a family all the time and not just when someone dies. 

I feel that if everyone learned these lessons of life, they would erase the what ifs and just do it. My grandma always did what she loved and excited her, and today I continue to live my life, just like she would.